this is blasphemy, i say!

I don’t know why but I think of you lately more than I have in the past two years. Oddly enough, when I think of you all the bitterness and anger…just isn’t there. Although I do feel my bitterness has always been justified…it’s all just gone. In a way…I even kinda miss you. Not too much though, honestly haha. I wonder how you’ve been, what you’ve been doing. I don’t regret how things happened though. You really WERE an asshole. Total douche. Of course, no one would know that. You sure did like to throw around your side of the story; boy, did you love pity.

 I wonder if you told them how, on my birthday, you blocked me from fb, aim , etc. Maturity ensued. Or how manipulative you were? How you called me in the middle of the night, crying about how your parents were going to divorce knowing that my parents already were? Just to admit in the end that it was a lie just to start talking to me again? I wonder just how many people you went around to, telling them “our story” which was really just you trying to make yourself the victim. I think only two or three people out there know the full story, or at least both sides. Hmph. Normally, thinking back on those things I would get so angry, so full of hate. Now I just kind of half-laugh. 

I wonder if I should message you, just a simple “Hi, it’s been awhile. How are you?” We’ll see. I don’t know if you’ll even bother replying. At least I can say I tried.

I think it’s time to let go of my old grudges.